And that's my highlight of 2013.

This year have been rather harsh to me.

As most of you might have made aware, earlier this year, I caught a disease that turned my life upside down.

The aftermath of that event, I was forced to leave campus, leave my friends, the person I love, and technically my campus life...... only for a while.. yes I know... but a whole year is agonizing enough, and I can't expect good things would come anytime soon. A heart disease and a ruined lung do not heal overnight after all. When I left campus, I didn't cry.

After months of fighting the damned curse, the person I love decided it's time to go for good. It was tough. I'm not really good in handling rejections. But what's done is done. One thing for sure, I won't try to love anyone else anytime soon. I thought what we had was real, but well... you know it happened to everyone. I was sad, but I didn't cry.

After the breakup, I decided to bring home a kitten. After months of being alone, I thought it'll be nice to have something to cuddle and give your love and wouldn't hurt you. His name was Panda, or Deddy Cobuzier, or simply Meow... That's what I called him. My mom hates cats, especially this one who didn't know how to use a litter box. I didn't care and want to keep him anyway. I was in Penampang when my dad called me, and said mom wanted to give the kitten away. I said no and bring Panda to me. I want to keep it no matter what. However, when mom was on her way here, she stopped by in Tambunan to buy some stuff. The cat jumped out of the car and ran away. Mom didn't bother to go after him. So, now he's gone. This time I cried.

I don't know why, but it stings. It stings real bad. I have never cried over things. But this time, I was literally sobbing like I am mourning at a funeral. I don't blame anyone for anything that happened to me. I'm just sad it happened. Everything that I'm trying to love seem to run away from me.

It hurts more when mom tried to rationalized over it... saying the cat was a burden... "It's a good thing it ran away..."............ Why didn't you just give me away earlier this year. I was a burden, no?

Call me sissy, call me fag or whatever. But whatever you think is useless unless you have walked in my shoes and crawled on my skin. Shit just never stopped happening to me this year. I gave up of trying to be good.

I know my life on Earth is counted. So, while I'm still breathing, I won't give a fuck what everyone think how I should live my life.

9th November 2013 - Met Panda.

17 November 2013 - Adopted the poor little kitten.

And that's my highlight of 2013.